The Sacrament of Marriage
The Lord worked his first miracle at a wedding. When he saw that the bride and groom at Cana had run out of wine he decided to come to their rescue. He changed many large containers of water into wine.
Was he suggesting that marriage and the family were so important to the individual and to society that he would begin his great work of helping and saving people at a marriage ceremony??
The decision of two people to get married normally comes after a considerable period of preparation. They are strongly attracted to each other. They consider themselves to be compatible and companionable. They want to be together. They wish to share their whole lives with each other.
So they come to God’s house to make a public statement and a solemn promise before God, their families and their friends that they will love and care for each other all the days of their lives. They promise that their love will be exclusive. Nobody else will take the place of the one to whom they are getting married. By making these solemn promises to each other they confer the sacrament of Matrimony on each other. They make their promises and they humbly ask God to enable them to keep them.
In the sacrament of marriage, the bride and groom enter into a lifelong relationship blessed by God that is meant to be one of love, care, respect, equality and sharing.
The following information may be helpful
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Go to a priest in the parish of the bride at least THREE MONTHS before the date on which you plan to marry. The meetings of the couple with their priest are a key part of the preparation process. These meetings have taken on a new significance in recent times because it can no longer be assumed that seeking a Church wedding is an expression of Christian faith on the part of one or both partners. These meetings are an opportunity for a couple to reflect on what Christian marriage asks of them.
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The priest will also begin the process of filling out Pre-Nuptial Enquiry Forms and advise you about the various documents that you need to collect. You will need to get a Certificate of Baptism from the parish in which you were baptised and a Certificate of Confirmation from the parish in which you were confirmed. These documents should be issued no less than six months prior to the date of marriage.
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If you have lived somewhere else, other than your present parish, since you were sixteen, then you will need to get a Letter of Freedom from each parish in which you lived for more than six months to state that you did not get married while you lived there. Any priest from the parish (or parishes) where you lived will supply you with this document.
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The bishop’s permission is required for a Church marriage involving someone under 18. Christian marriage requires the capability for a mature commitment and therefore such permissions are only granted in exceptional circumstances
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Freedom to marry: The rules governing freedom to marry in the Catholic Church can be complicated. The best advice when one party has been married previously (either in a civil or religious ceremony) is not to make arrangements until the diocesan office has been consulted.
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Mixed Marriages: Special permissions are required for full church recognition of marriages between a Roman Catholic and a baptised non-RC or someone unbaptised. Applications are handled by the diocesan office once the priest of the catholic party has forwarded the standard paperwork.
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It is now a legal requirement for the solemniser (the priest who officiates at the marriage) to be on the ‘List of Solemnisers’ submitted by each local Bishop to the Registrar-General.
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Ask the priest who is to officiate at your wedding to help you with the task of creating your marriage ceremony. There are a variety of prayers, blessings, readings, etc. Read through these together and choose the ones you prefer. Choose the person(s) who will read at Mass, person(s) to read the Prayer of the Faithful and the people to bring up the gifts at the Offertory. Rehearse the ceremony in church with the priest before the wedding day.
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To celebrate the sacrament of Marriage does not require the celebration of Eucharist (Mass). While it has been generally the custom, it may not always be appropriate for example in a “mixed” marriage or when a couple are not regularly practising. Some couples today find the celebration of Marriage without the Eucharist, to be more appropriate for them.
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Marriages on Sundays, Holydays and some special Church celebrations (Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, St. Patrick’s Day, Holy Thursday, Good Friday, Holy Saturday, Feast of All Souls) are not permitted in this Diocese.
Pre-marriage courses
All couples intending to marry are expected to participate in a marriage preparation course. The courses are prepared and presented by married couples and are a lovely way for you as a couple to take a look at your own relationship. This is time for yourselves, and time that will be really well spent.
For further information about Accord Pre-Marriage Courses in the Monaghan area, please ring Accord Monaghan at 047 83359. Office hours: Mon – Fri, 10am to 2pm. Alternatively, you can book online on the Accord website.
You may also find the following links helpful: www.together.ie and www.gettingmarried.ie
Requirements for Civil Registration
When the couple have chosen the date, church and priest for their marriage (and confirmed these matters with the relevant priest or priests), they will then need to make an appointment to meet with any civil registrar in person to give notice of their intention to marry. This meeting with the registrar must take place at least three months before the wedding in order to comply with the civil requirement.
The couple will be required to bring the following documentation to the registrar’s office:
⦁ photo identity (preferably a passport or driving license)
⦁ names and dates of birth of witnesses
⦁ name of the church where they wish to be married
⦁ name of the priest who will officiate at the marriage; this presumes that the celebrant is a registered solemniser and that he has agreed to officiate at the marriage.
⦁ if either party has been previously married, they must provide the civil registrar with an original divorce decree or a death certificate if widowed.
The Registrar Marriages for the our district is County Monaghan. The address is:
Civil Registration Office,
Monaghan Local Health Care Unit,
Rooskey,
Monaghan,
Co. Monaghan.
Contact Telephone Number: 047 30 444
When all the civil requirements have been completed satisfactorily the couple will receive, from the registrar, a Marriage Registration Form (MRF). Without this form the couple cannot get married nor may the solemniser proceed with the marriage ceremony.
Both the solemniser and the parish priest of the place of marriage will receive notification from the civil registrar’s office concerning the marriage due to take place.
The couple must present the MRF to the solemniser before the wedding so that he can check that the details are correct before marriage takes place. This should be done as early as is convenient.
If changes are necessary – for instance, changing the name of the solemniser – the couple should contact the civil registrar to arrange for the re-issue of the MRF at the earliest possible stage before the ceremony.
After the wedding, the solemniser must ensure that the MRF is signed by the couple, the two witnesses and himself.
After the marriage has been celebrated, it is the responsibility of the couple (not the local priest or solemniser) to return the MRF to any Registrar’s Office. This form must be returned within one month of the marriage.
Legislation requires that the solemniser (the priest who officiates at the marriage) must ask the couple to make a verbal declaration of no civil impediment. It is recommended practice that this declaration be made at the beginning of the wedding, when the bride and groom arrive at the sanctuary.
In order to summarise the above legal requirements for valid civil registration of marriage, please study the following check-list of what the couple must do:
⦁ meet one of the local parish clergy
⦁ book the church where you wish to marry
⦁ meet a civil registrar at least three months before the wedding to give notice of your intention to marry
⦁ receive the Marriage Registration Form (MRF) from the civil registrar
⦁ bring the MRF to the solemniser
⦁ make the verbal declaration of no civil impediment in the presence of each other and before the solemniser and the two witnesses at the beginning of the wedding ceremony (or not more than two days beforehand)
⦁ return the signed MRF to any civil registrar not later than one month after the wedding